So, let’s be real, society expects the pastor’s kids to be perfect. There are high expectations and pressures in life that we face as pastor’s kids. These expectations are so high and unattainable that no one could ever really live up to them, even if they tried. We are placed on a pedestal and that’s a fact.
Reality is, preacher’s kids are human and not perfect, we suffer great judgement growing up in the spotlight of the church. There are so many stereotypes associated with being a “PK”, (Pastor’s / Preachers kid for those who didn’t know the lingo).
I grew up in a christian home, however prior to my dad’s calling we were an “ordinary” family living in a small city called Pietermaritzburg in KwaZulu-Natal. My dad was a successful businessman and owned a signage company and my mom by profession is a qualified nurse.
Fast-forwarding to years later things started changing very quickly after the calling of God upon my dad’s life. Things changed, from us moving to Johannesburg, family quality time with just us to having people in our home constantly, secretly I think this is where my love and passion for people comes from. (Just putting that out there!!! ) 🙂
The life of a PK involves unusual activities, in my case, being at church four times a week, Thursday prayer meetings, Friday young adults ministry, Saturday praise and worship rehearsals and Sunday worship services. It involves regular visits from church members and sometimes giving up your room for guests, and at times been left with my gran for my parents to do the work of the Kingdom.
Watching my parents over the years of growing I realized that they never stop working and that ministry is not easy… The counselling, praying for people, my dad preparing sermons, encouraging, teaching, the list is endless…
So, let’s get into some juicy details of my life.. grab some coffee, get comfortable..
I promise you I could write a book… but let me keep it short and sweet to just one story. I fell pregnant before marriage at the age of 21. Yes, I see your eyes open wide with your mouth opened reading this, haha..
When I told my parents I remember very clearly, how my dad did not utter a word and got up off the couch, picked his shoes up and went upstairs to his room, my mother on the other hand started screaming while taking clean dishes out of the cupboard and washing them again, she put the washing machine on and started doing washing and cleaning… I guess when you’re hurt and disappointed it makes you do some crazy things. (Mom I love you if you read this).
My dad, being a pastor and speaking all the time, getting him to a point of silence broke me inside. Seeing my mother in frustration knowing she always wanted the best of everything for me like every mother wants for their child tore me apart that I disappointed her, and the fact that I kept my relationship with my boyfriend (which is my husband now) at the time away from them was even worse.
They didn’t know I was in a relationship and sexually active at the time at all. The church probably looked at me and thought i’m “The Perfect PK” Everything looked all rosy in my life, the sweet young lady who lifted her hands to praise God every church gathering and stood singing in the front with the praise and worship team. (I am not ashamed of telling you my truths, I am far from perfect)
It wasn’t easy going back to church, I felt so ashamed. I was sad that I let my parents and the church down because I grew up knowing that what I was doing was wrong and sex before marriage was spoken about so many times in our church.
I remember times where I would be in church and just cry because of the shame and I know that I am not the only one, you might be reading this somewhere broken, feeling rejected, have sexual addictions, feeling sorrow but I came with good news today.
I have been at the alter many times begging God to help me and I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with coming to God over and over and over again, don’t stop going to church. We all have our own journey’s to walk through and the beauty of Christ is that He offers grace and through your own journey you will discover His love and mercy.
If that’s you and you’re reading this and saying “God, I need help, I want You to take away this pain or help me through this addiction, help me through this sin” We can’t do it on our own, trust me!!! And remember that we will never be perfect but we wake up daily asking God to help us to be better.
There’s grace for you, if you just surrender!!!
A quote from my dad that I keep with me and share with people is “The church is a hospital” Whether it’s healing, spiritual bondage, addictions, the church is there to help you move forward in your journey.
If you would like to get in contact with me to talk or if you need encouragement or prayer please feel free to email me : email@example.com
I pray my story helps someone out there!
Lots of love