Diary of a Preacher’s Kid

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So, let’s be real, society expects the pastor’s kids to be perfect. There are high expectations and pressures in life that we face as pastor’s kids. These expectations are so high and unattainable that no one could ever really live up to them, even if they tried. We are placed on a pedestal and that’s a fact.

Reality is, preacher’s kids are human and not perfect, we suffer great judgement growing up in the spotlight of the church. There are so many stereotypes associated with being a “PK”, (Pastor’s / Preachers kid for those who didn’t know the lingo).

I grew up in a christian home, however prior to my dad’s calling we were an “ordinary” family living in a small city called Pietermaritzburg in KwaZulu-Natal. My dad was a successful businessman and owned a signage company and my mom by profession is a qualified nurse.

Fast-forwarding to years later things started changing very quickly after the calling of God upon my dad’s life. Things changed, from us moving to Johannesburg, family quality time with just us to having people in our home constantly, secretly I think this is where my love and passion for people comes from. (Just putting that out there!!! ) 🙂

The life of a PK involves unusual activities, in my case, being at church four times a week, Thursday prayer meetings, Friday young adults ministry, Saturday praise and worship rehearsals and Sunday worship services. It involves regular visits from church members and sometimes giving up your room for guests, and at times been left with my gran for my parents to do the work of the Kingdom.

Watching my parents over the years of growing I realized that they never stop working and that ministry is not easy… The counselling, praying for people, my dad preparing sermons, encouraging, teaching, the list is endless…

So, let’s get into some juicy details of my life.. grab some coffee, get comfortable..

I promise you I could write a book… but let me keep it short and sweet to just one story. I fell pregnant before marriage at the age of 21. Yes, I see your eyes open wide with your mouth opened reading this, haha..

When I told my parents I remember very clearly, how my dad did not utter a word and got up off the couch, picked his shoes up and went upstairs to his room, my mother on the other hand started screaming while taking clean dishes out of the cupboard and washing them again, she put the washing machine on and started doing washing and cleaning… I guess when you’re hurt and disappointed it makes you do some crazy things. (Mom I love you if you read this).

My dad, being a pastor and speaking all the time, getting him to a point of silence broke me inside. Seeing my mother in frustration knowing she always wanted the best of everything for me like every mother wants for their child tore me apart  that I disappointed her, and the fact that I kept my relationship with my boyfriend (which is my husband now) at the time away from them was even worse.

They didn’t know I was in a relationship and sexually active at the time at all. The church probably looked at me and thought i’m “The Perfect PK” Everything looked all rosy in my life, the sweet young lady who lifted her hands to praise God every church gathering and stood singing in the front with the praise and worship team. (I am not ashamed of telling you my truths, I am far from perfect)

It wasn’t easy going back to church, I felt so ashamed. I was sad that I let my parents and the church down because I grew up knowing that what I was doing was wrong and sex before marriage was spoken about so many times in our church.

I remember times where I would be in church and just cry because of the shame and I know that I am not the only one, you might be reading this somewhere broken, feeling rejected, have sexual addictions, feeling sorrow but I came with good news today.

I have been at the alter many times begging God to help me and I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with coming to God over and over and over again, don’t stop going to church. We all have our own journey’s to walk through and the beauty of Christ is that He offers grace and through your own journey you will discover His love and mercy.

If that’s you and you’re reading this and saying “God, I need help, I want You to take away this pain or help me through this addiction, help me through this sin” We can’t do it on our own, trust me!!! And remember that we will never be perfect but we wake up daily asking God to help us to be better.

There’s grace for you, if you just surrender!!!

A quote from my dad that I keep with me and share with people is “The church is a hospital” Whether it’s healing, spiritual bondage, addictions, the church is there to help you move forward in your journey.

If you would like to get in contact with me to talk or if you need encouragement or prayer please feel free to email me : shayleighduplooy@gmail.com

I pray my story helps someone out there!

Lots of love

Shay

xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

 

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When you’re at your Lowest, look to the Highest! #MondayMotivation

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Let’s face it.. life doesn’t always go the way we want it to go and life is tough but so are you darling!

Do you ever feel like you could close the door and pray until your voice goes away and nothing is changing? Just when we think we have a grip and the pieces to the puzzle are finally coming together, things change in the other direction ?

Usually, when this happens I think that we need to understand that whatever comes our way, good or bad, it’s God’s plan and we can’t change it!

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and when we go through hardships it’s usually to teach us something, so with that being said, we should pray and ask God to show us His plan. We have to ask Him to help us through.

I love the quote “Life will beat you down, people will let you down but the only person that never will is God”.

If you reading this and need a bit of hope.. God is with you, he knows what you are going through, all you have to do is trust in Him and ask Him to direct you and lead you, to help you understand why you going through what you are going through.

Trust me, what you go through is always to build you!

“Give your burdens to the LORD, and He will sustain you. He will never permit the godly to slip and fall.”- Psalms 55:22

 

Have a blessed day!

Shay-Leigh

Prayer changes things !!!

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If praying does not come effortlessly for you, try these tips to make your prayer life more focused and effective!

Talking to God should be as easy as breathing; it should happen effortlessly, but most of us need a little more fundamental instruction to get the job done. I myself included, with that being said, here are some practical guidelines that I have picked up from my dad’s ministry that might make your time with the Lord more fruitful. If you begin by incorporating a few of them, I’m confident your prayer life will improve, mine surely did!

  •  Choose a specific place to pray away from distractions, I recently started a war room, for myself where I stick prayer requests on a wall and use that specific area in my home to have my quiet time with the Lord.
  •  Make a daily appointment with the Lord, set a time to spend in His presence.
  •  Make a list to keep track of your prayer needs. This can be done several ways. Prayer needs can be listed by category like “Church,” “Family,” or “Unsaved friends.” Or they may be listed by the days of the week. Each day you pray for a different set of needs.
  •  Include praise, thanksgiving and singing. Spend some of your time reflecting on a scripture, meditating on it and digesting its meaning. Tip : Always look at what comes before a verse and what’s after to understand the scripture properly.
  •  Keep a prayer journal. Here are two variations of this idea. The first is to keep track of what you prayed for and when you prayed for it. Leave a space to jot down the answer when it comes. This will help you to keep alert to God’s answer so you can thank Him promptly. Sometimes prayer answers come through the back door and you don’t want them to slip by you. The second variation is to write the entire prayer in your journal. Make it a personal letter to the Lord on a daily basis. Just write “Dear Lord” instead of “Dear Diary”
  •  Pray with someone else. Though some prayers can only be said in your alone time with God, there will be times when you’ll want to join hearts with another person in prayer. This could be your husband, a friend, a sister or brother. If you commit to meet on a regular basis, the accountability can really help build consistency. Such prayer can become powerful, life-changing events.
  •  Let your prayer be sincere. A sentence or two may be all that’s needed, God’s not looking for long fancy prayers, He wants true worship and prayer from the heart.

Tip : Start your prayer time with a song , focusing your heart and mind on the Lord. Also pray about the things not on your schedule but still on your heart.

“Pray without ceasing” – 1 Thessalonians 5:17

 

Shay-Leigh

Don’t worry, God’s got you!!!

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Are you the type who creates to-do lists often, and worries like crazy when you feel out of control?

Many of you probably know the drill:  one minute you’re leading your life as normal and the next, everything normal has been transmuted into something that looks a lot like a horrible car wreck.

When I’m thrown for a loop like that, I often forget to think about the plan behind it all.  I’m selfish, after all, and I want to know what in the world God is doing up there.  Doesn’t he even care that the most important things in my life just imploded?

He even tells me that He has my back, and that I don’t need to panic.  His strength is my strength, and He will hold me steady (Isaiah 41:10).  Why, then, does each and every one of us have moments of complete and utter despair?  Of all the things we learn to do as Christians, remembering is quite possibly what we forget to do the most.  Every day I wish I could remember how blessed I am and how I don’t have to worry about anything.  Instead, I try to take things into my own hands.

Maybe if I had a better memory, I could remember everything I’ve learned about following God and looking for his will in my life.  The plan God has for me is bigger and brighter than anything I can see, even if I get to look at it with 20/20 hindsight.  In the end, it means living in a state that is partly knowing God’s will and partly hoping for God’s will.  There’s no way I can ever completely know what goes on in His head, but I can humble myself and remember everything he has taught me over the years, instead of yelling at him when I don’t understand something the Most High is doing.

Shay-Leigh 

What is my purpose?

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“O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!”

The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you.  And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!”  Jeremiah 1:4-8

I love this scripture, for me it’s a clear picture of what God want’s from our generation as young people.. I have and still do deal with the question “God what is my purpose? Where do you want me to serve? What do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go?”

Have you ever wished God would write a letter with your purpose on it and just posted it from heaven to you?

Have you ever wanted to do something so badly but it never worked out? This is because God has His plans for your life that are far better than what you want for yourself. So thinking about this, how do we allow God’s plans to take over ours? God says when we obey Him and seek him diligently, when we pray He will reveal all to us.

We have an assignment as young people, if we look around us, the wars, the pain, the brokenness. We have a task here on earth, I have heard people say, “When i’m older I will serve God, When i’m 30 I will give my heart to the Lord,” But God is saying RIGHT NOW!!! He needs us to do things now..We need to share the truth. Jeremiah was resisting God’s call. He didn’t think he was good enough or smart enough or old enough or prophet enough. But God reminds Jeremiah that no one knows him better than God does. And in that same light we need to look at ourselves and say Lord, I might think I’m not good enough, but You know me better than I know myself so use me Lord.

Never be afraid of the tasks that God puts in your way. He only sends you to do the things that he knows you can do.

God is saying He knew you, as he knew Jeremiah, way before you were born or even conceived.  HE thought about you and planned for you.  So when you feel discouraged or inadequate, remember that God has always thought of you as valuable and that he has a purpose in mind for you.

Jeremiah was “appointed” by God as “spokesman to the world.”  God has a purpose for each and everyone of us, but some people are appointed by God for specific kinds of work.  we are also called to do work for God.  Whatever work you do should be done for the glory of God.  If God gives you a specific task, accept it cheerfully and do it with diligence.  If God has not given you a specific call or assignment, then seek to fulfill the mission common to all believers – love, obey, and serve God until his guidance becomes more clear.

Often people struggle with new challenges because they lack self-confidence, feeling that they have inadequate ability or experience.  Jeremiah thought he was “too young” and inexperienced to be God’s spokesman to the world.  But God promised to be with him.  We should not allow feelings of inadequacy to keep us from obeying God.  He will always be with us.  If God gives you a job to do, he will provide all you need to do it.

Jeremiah’s call by God teaches how intimately God know us.  He valued us before anyone else knew we would exist.  He cared for us while we were in our mother’s womb.  He planned our life while our body was still being formed.  He values us more highly than we value ourselves.

So, after reading all this, what am I called to do?  I am called through the love that I have for God to endure.  It will be His strength that upholds me, it will be His mercy that will sustain me and His grace that will cover me.  Jeremiah was often mocked.  No one would listen to his warnings, yet he endured because his faith was firmly rooted in God.  Even when he was discouraged, Jeremiah’s heart for God overcame his strong negative emotions.

I will be blessed if this helps one person, remember God can use you at any age and the time is now!

Shay-Leigh

 

Pray without ceasing!!!

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I read a quote on the internet one day that said “If you only pray when you’re in trouble, you’re in trouble”

Think about it… how true?

What would we do without prayer?

Prayer is so essential.We need prayer to be apart of us daily.

So, what does the scripture “Pray without ceasing” actually mean?

Thinking about the words pray without ceasing may make you think of people walking around with their hands together, eyes closed and heads bowed but while certain ways we pray and times we set aside are important in our communication with God, praying all the time obviously doesn’t mean we should pray in a way that’s noticeable every moment of the day. It  also does not mean you’re supposed to devote yourself to reciting ritualistic patterns and forms of prayer.

To “pray without ceasing” means nonstop talking to God throughout the day. Prayer is to be a way of life,you’re to be continually in an attitude of prayer. It is living in continual God-consciousness, where everything you see and experience becomes a kind of prayer. It should be instant and intimate communication just like you would chat to your best friend.

To “pray without ceasing” means when you are tempted, you hold the temptation before God and ask for His help. When you experience something good and beautiful, you immediately thank the Lord for it. When you see evil around you, you ask God to make it right, if that is His will. When you meet someone who does not know Christ, you pray for God to draw that person to Himself and to use you to be a faithful witness. When you encounter trouble, you turn to God as your Deliverer.

All life’s thoughts, deeds, and circumstances become an opportunity to communicate with your Heavenly Father. In that way you “constantly set your mind “on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2).

Shay-Leigh

Wherever you are, God put you there for a reason!

 

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“Bloom where you are planted”   

Have you ever felt like you not where you want to be in life just yet?

You may be in a job that’s not really what you enjoy doing and working on your dream in your spare time…But like a flower that grows through a crack in the concrete, sometimes we have to make the best of our situations and bloom where we have been planted.

Sometimes our dreams take time. Not everyone can quit their jobs to follow a dream.
but instead of getting upset at your situation, why not try blooming where you have been planted? You may not realize it, but where you are now is providing you with  life lessons for your next adventure.

 

Every chapter in your life builds a foundation to launch the next chapter. So you have a choice. You can either feel sorry for yourself, wondering why you are not where you want to be and cursing the situation that you are in. Or you can look at this as a lesson. Ask yourself, “What is this here to teach me?” and “How can I use this experience to drive me to my ultimate goal?”Learn to shine your light so bright that it drowns out the darkness. Keep working towards your next step and understand that your destiny is not determined by your current circumstances.

So, why not choose to be happy now?
To truly blossom, you must stop complaining.
Your job and circumstances may not be ideal right now. But you have to decide for yourself what you can change and what you cannot.

If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change your attitude about it. – Maya Angelou

If the situation cannot be changed, you must learn to rise above it. What you tend to focus on, expands. Breathe energy into the positive things in your life.
Choose to be a blessing despite your own circumstances, and in doing so, inspire the lives of many others.Learn to bloom where you are planted. Even if you find yourself planted under some concrete at the moment, look for the crack in the concrete to find your way out.Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favorite scriptures..”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I encourage you to mediate on this scripture while being grateful for where you are now, but still praying for where you want to go.

 

Shay-Leigh